I have mixed feelings about my life here , in the US. On one way , I like it. I love the freedom it gives me. I love the fact that nobody stares at me , nobody passes lewd comments and the like. The freedom gives me a high :)
On the other hand , I miss my family . Or at least a friend of the same wavelength. I feel terribly lonely at times though I make a conscious effort not to be lonely.
I wonder if I am a really odd person. I love to read , I do not watch TV. I like my space , my privacy, I like going out for a walk alone.
There are around 5 of my colleagues with me , who stay in the same hotel . All of them , boys , younger than me. They find me odd :) I can feel it.
Well I guess to them - I read books and dont watch TV !!! To them its odd. I go for walks alone ..
They are all simple and very mallu like boys.
Well, they are good humans , its a matter of perspective. I was brought up to be independent and I hate troubling anyone (except amma and sis and PP ) .
I wonder if I am a really odd person. I love to read , I do not watch TV. I like my space , my privacy, I like going out for a walk alone.
There are around 5 of my colleagues with me , who stay in the same hotel . All of them , boys , younger than me. They find me odd :) I can feel it.
Well I guess to them - I read books and dont watch TV !!! To them its odd. I go for walks alone ..
They are all simple and very mallu like boys.
Well, they are good humans , its a matter of perspective. I was brought up to be independent and I hate troubling anyone (except amma and sis and PP ) .
I should not let it bother me . But it does sometimes, only sometimes .
Sometimes I find loneliness creeping into me... not coz I am alone.. coz the others are talking loudly in the next room . They dont find it comfortable with me , I dont blame them. But its odd.
I wish the ice would melt , I wish they would treat me more like a friend .
Also , I cook my own food, they all have a common kitchen , they cook their meals together.
Well, my food habits are quite different from theirs too. They bring rice and pulses from india, by kgs , and survive on it. I cannot eat like that. I buy vegetables , they look at me in wonder. They wonder why I spent money on vegetables. They convert the price into INR and gasp. I cannot eat rice and dal everyday and still be happy here. I need quality food.
Well, again its perspective. I cannot understand how one has to go hungry and save loads of money . I do not understand why one has to live in such a meager manner when you are paid enough to live luxuriously.
But to them, I am foolish and lavish to be spending all my dollars on food .
Well, I am waiting for Pran and PP to join me. But again , since its a hotel room I wonder if Pran is going to find it difficult coping up with it here.
Hoping hoping....
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